Cancer

by Dr. Organ

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1.
I live by the ocean/ I live by the sea/okay it's a lake/ but the other side you can't see. Edge of the lake- great lake/the curvature for heaven's sake/I feel the water break on the breakers/My atoms will shake/shake into the space here. We dissipate here under the pressure/to meet our maker- meet the maker-meet the maker/I just shake here, quake here/I am here. We are the cancer-ate the cancer/I can't hear but I am the cancer/Fear the margins/Feel the margins grow/Divide forever/The cancer is me/I live by the ocean/I live by the sea...
2.
Eyes open 03:49
imagine the obscene/the unseen/obsidian glimmer and gleam/a black coursing stream. Forgotten dreams/remembering everything/from canal to coffin. Morning coffee and stopping the forward motion/roiled by emotions/I saw the child, an ocean and the edges breach/standing on the beach. Eyes open- eyes open. The floodlight collimation/our body's attenuation/bathed in a halo of radiation/this is no cure but palliation. Eyes open-eyes open. Obscenity of life/blood, shit and bile and bone/hold on tight, don't let go. every moment, every note, eyes open.
3.
I'm gonna show you the light/but you won't see it. Take off your clothes/put on blue robes-hospital robes. I can't say it'll be alright/We'll see how it goes. I'm gonna show you the light. But you won't see it. Lay your body down/Float above the ground/stripped, bound. I'm gonna show you the light. But you can't see it. This is the fight of your life. We always lose it. The hour-the day-the year/you can't choose it. The end drawing near/we'll take you to it...
4.
sun will try- try and try/to climb the sky- climb the sky. Milky eye- half as high/hang the moon. Thumbnail tomb/dreams in womb/of the garden level. tar and gravel/greasy travel/diner spoon- diner spoon. door-less sleep/dreamless stoop/in the cancer room. the nurse will come/you'll see her soon.
5.
Cyprus and aloe/eucalyptus and aloe/aloe crack and slow. phone eyes allow/alloy sky into view/I see me and you. Build a bridge/re-build a bridge/in traffic we sit. in suits of aloe/eucalyptus and aloe/nobody knows us/nobody knows. build a bridge/climb inside/the ecstatic now. I've got a soul for words/and an ear for the absurd/thoughts scatter like birds. Can't wrap my chords/around princes and lords/things they can't afford/build a bridge. give you 6 months or less... nights of fear/sunshine's here/clouds will clear.
6.
smokestack smoke/weather vein spoke/glass pane lake/flashing late yellow/lights from below/beneath thoughts/wreaths wrought from dreams/glimmer and gleam. smokestack spoke/feathered lanes told/flash veins of old. glass streak halo/blight city yellow/flights from above/lights from below/beneath thoughts/wreaths flock in dreams/simmer along seams... we sing these things/because they can't be seen// to satisfy personal need or desire.
7.
in the poor places/the roads rumble/pot hole faces/jumbled. saucer eyes/of frozen hope/in the poor places the roads rumble. Pass over Howell/Oklahoma is smooth/tires roll in the groove/lead you up to the water. Out past the breaker/pass into the open lake/follow thoughts/ caught in the wayward breeze. frozen looks and pleads/caught in the wayward breeze. dreams like steam/hollowed out screams//in the poor places...
8.
Poor man 02:56
tears are a poor man's shower/a minute is a poor man's hour/rag weed is a poor man's flower/a cold is a poor man's cancer. you can't afford//to be sick anymore/. a drink is a poor man's meal/charity is a poor man's deal/what you can't find you steal/I doubt you know how he feels. he can't afford//to be sick anymore// a sink is a poor man's shower/trash ain't a poor man's treasure/pain is still pain and not pleasure/at a bus stop in December...
9.
stayed up late/to make sure you were safe/safe as someone/as sick as you are.walked to my car/underneath the stars/walked to my car/underneath the street lights. heavy as the air/you won't see me there/or even be aware. stayed up late/to make sure that you were safe/safe as someone with cancer/driving home my wife waits alone/mike's asleep/heavy as the air//

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released April 12, 2016

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Dr. Organ Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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